From Barack To Rupert, A Thanksgiving Message

Sorry for this off-topic post, but I couldn’t resist sharing this email message forwarded from a friend in Washington, DC:

Thanksgiving Day, The White House

Dear Rupert,

I thought on this day in particular it would be appropriate for me to send a brief note expressing my gratitude for all that you did for us over the last year. It’s clear to me that without your tireless help the outcome would have been very different. For obvious reasons I can’t acknowledge your help in public, but I want you to know that I will never forget your help, and Michelle and I will be thinking of you during our Thanksgiving Dinner in a few short hours.

Please let Roger know that his work was particularly indispensable. I hope you encourage him to give big Xmas bonuses to  O’Reilly, Hannity, Kelly, and the rest of the bunch (I’m sorry but I just don’t have enough time to mention all the amazing players on the great Fox News bench). Of course they are unaware of their contribution, but their tireless efforts in pursuit of their simple-minded ideology really demonstrated to America the sad, bankrupt state of the Republican party. (Maybe next year I’ll propose a TARP-style plan to rescue the Republican Party, just like the auto industry– LOL.) I have to admit that I almost felt sorry for Mitt, the way they held his feet to the fire during the primaries.

But of course your efforts went way beyond Fox News. I really think that the Fox entertainment network was equally valuable. After all, after watching shows like Glee, The Simpsons, and American Idol the vast majority of Americans were far less susceptible to the homophobic, racist, pseudo-patriotic and pseudo-religious rantings of the right. And I know that a super smart businessman like yourself would never allow so-called “conservative” family values to get in the way of the vast profits you earn from popular music and culture.

There’s so much more for which I would like to thank you but I don’t have time! Let me just touch on the great work you’ve done with the Wall Street Journal. Of course, no one really reads newspapers these days, but those complete knuckleheads on the editorial page still haven’t figured out that all the great reporting in the rest of the paper vaccinates most readers against all their ridiculous editorial positions. (As a side note, I particularly admire your business acuity here, since you’re clearly able to get such first-rate work from all those reporters at bargain-basement prices.)

Let me just finish by wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving. Please pass on my thanks and regards to the Kochs, Karl, and all the rest. I wish I had time to thank them all.

All my best,



  1. Toooo-shay?

  2. I follow you for the cardiac news, but this is hysterical!

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